


Let's take a break

by MistaBallista



Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: Cuphead swears a lot, Everyone and their mothers has done a group chat., First work - Freeform, Mugman is pure, NUFF SAID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 07:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13003023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistaBallista/pseuds/MistaBallista
Summary: While collecting the soul contracts, Cuphead and Mugman take a load off before heading to inkwell Isle 3. Group Chat ensues.





	Let's take a break

**Cuphead opened the group chat Group Chat**

**Cuphead renamed Group Chat to devil annihilation force alpha**

**Cuphead invited Elder Kettle and Mugman**

**Cuphead changed name to FingerGuns (FG)**

**FingerGuns changed Mugman’s name to Mug Life (ML)**

ML: Cuphead, why did you start a group chat? We’re right next to each other, and time’s a-wasting!

FG: well i thought maybe elder kettle should be in the loop

FG: speaking o which

FG: hey ek

EK: My, how exciting! I’m so glad I got one of these doodads to talk to you boys. I’ll be offering my support from the sidelines!

ML: Thanks, Elder Kettle!

EK: He has a point, Cuphead. You only have a day to collect all the contracts. Where are you now?

FG: were at the dice house on inkwell isle 2

FG: weve gotten everyones contracts

FG: well head inside in a sec and go to 3

FG: right now i just feel like taking a lil break

ML: I guess it couldn’t hurt. Yeah, let’s take a load off.

FG: where did we go wrong

FG: we thought this was like a game at first

FG: like with the root pack

FG: now we’re getting fucked sideways with people like fricken puff the magic dragon and pussywise the dancing jackass over here

ML: What about Hilda Berg?

FG: don’t even start on the inflation porn whoroscope

FG: i don’t care how how cool it would be to turn into the moon

FG: her final form can eat my entire porcelain ass

FG: we died 

FG: so many times

EK: Wait you guys died!?

FG: you thought we didnt

ML: Elder Kettle, we die at least once in every stage.

EK: Holy shit!

EK: What am I going to tell your parents?!

FG: we have parents

FG: oh fuck we have parents

ML: How did you forget!?

EK: Go figure, I get to babysit once a month, and the kids die on me like 12 times.

ML: The strange man in the pool said we’ve died 187 times.

EK: SHIT

FG: WHAT

ML: That’s what he said.

EK: WELL DAMN

EK: For the love of God, don’t tell your parents.

FG: are you kidding me elder kettle we’d fcuking die grounded our asses are just on the line as yours

ML: Don’t swear!

FG: fucking make me mugman ive died 187 times whats one more

EK: Yeah, Mugman, what are you, some kinda pussy?

ML: Elder Kettle?!

EK: Listen, kid everything’s gone absolutely pear-shaped

EK: I think I’ve earned the right to do away with my Obi-Wan Kenobi Schtick.

Elder Kettle changed his name to NofucksGiven

FG: ek

FG: my man

NG: >:D

TL: Oh goodness.

**BLAZEIT (BI) joined the chat**

BI: Howdy motherfuckers

ML: Who’s that?

NG: Cuphead, is this what you call a stoner?

FG: no its just an ass who thinks hes hot shit just cuz he can photosynthesize

FG: sup Cagney

ML: Cagney? As in, Cagney Carnation?

BI: Thats right clay ass

ML: How did you get in this chat?!

BI: Cuphead invited me.

ML: Cuphead!!!

FG: haha guilty

BI: He basically invited me to it after you two kicked my ass

BI: A sort of peace offering/consolation prize for my soul contract

ML: Cuphead, who else did you invite?

FG: hilda

ML:…

ML: Anybody else?

FG: nah man just hilda and flowey junior over here

**BlazeIt joined the chat (BI2)**

BlazeIt: H-h-h-h-howdy motherfuckers!

FG: and grim matchstick

BI1: Same name!

BI2: S-s-s-same name!

NG: Oh dear God theres two of them.

ML: Could one of you please change your names? I feel like this could get old pretty quickly…

**BlazeIt has joined the chat (BI3)**

BI3: Howdy motherfuckers!

ML: Oh dear.

BI1:Same name!

BI2: S-s-s-same name!

BI3: Who are you losers?

BI1: Cagney.

BI1: Your neighbor

BI1: We’ve lived across the road from each other for 18 years

BI3: Doesn’t ring a bell.

BI1: I’ve dealt you weed

BI3: Cagney, baby, how you living?

FG: cagney

FG: have you been holding out on me motherfucker

ML: Don’t!!! Swear!!!

FG: make melfnign

FG: FUCKZEKFR TOOAFN MY   FPIPHONE

FG: sup I’m back

BI2: What ha-ha-happened?

FG: subdued megaman

FG: *mugman

FG: naughty cups get thrown into the boston crab hold

FG: sorry magma thems the rules

ML: I HURT

BI3: Holy crap, how are you typing?!

ML: INTENSE PAIN

ML: BLINDING

ML: DESIRE TO BE PART OF CONVERSATION

ML:  BLINDINGER

FG: hey hilda whats up with your name

BI3: Have you ever heard of…the Hindenburg?

FG: sure thats like a sausage rugkjfgusn

FG: sorry mugman broke free for a second

FG: attempted to exact revenge according to ancient cup honor codes

BI1: What code is that?

FG: talk shit get hit

ML: NO SWEAR YOU

BI2: C-c-c-can we change our names? I feel a little f-f-f-forgettable…

NG: Go on, then.

**BLAZEIT (BI1) changed name to CarnaGe**

**BlazeIt (BI2) changed name to SmaugLord**

**BlazeIt (BI3) changed name to BlimpBizkit**

ML: yes hello this is mugman speaking

ML: i like to dance to mamma mia at three am in the mf2nfuaoscvzzzxxjv

FG: Hi yes this is Cuphead, I like to eat dirt and bash rocks against my head because I like the rattling noise it makmforunfuarg9u

ML: I return victorious!

FG: impossible

FG: he broke out of the boston crab

FG: perhaps he is the chosen one spoken of in legend

FG: or maybe he just used pork rinds smoke bomb to get out of it like a lil BITCH

ML: I forget, was that before or after I was sitting on you?

FG: it was when you were being a lil BITCH

NG: Alright, alright, break it up, you two. You’ve got enough on your plates without going all Cain/Abel on each other. The islands from here on out will be even tougher!

FG: how bad could it be

**HonksnBalloons joined chat**

HB: The next island, you will see/ is worse than this one, times three!

**HonksnBalloons was blocked by FingerGuns**

FG: back off pussywise go eat some kid named georgie

ML: How did he even get in!?

FG: hes gotta have some kinda freaky clown majjyks

FG: honestly

FG: i think were better off not knowing.

**CosmicPower joined the chat**

CP: Your server’s security is paper thin/ so easy was it to crack for a clown and a djinn! 

**CosmicPower was blocked by FingerGuns**

FG: fuck outta here ya melon

FG: fuckin red rubber ball of middle eastern cliches

ML: Don’t swear…

FG: do you really think im gonna stop

ML: No, but I’m very optimistic.

FG: haha

FG: optimism

BB: Hey, I was reading back on some of these logs…

BB: Who the hell’s an “Inflation Porn Whoroscope?!”

FG: be reasonable hilda

FG: i have reasons to be salty

BB: You didn’t even spell Horoscope right!

FG: i know what i typed

ML: Sorry, Hilda, he’s pretty tuckered out. We’ll be ready to keep going in a little bit, but for the moment, we have to recharge.

FG: tuckered out

FG: what are we 

FG: toddlers

**SmaugLord changed name to PuffthemagicDragon**

FG: grim

FG: my boi

CN: You actually liked yours?

PD: I’m a b-b-b-big fan of his works.

NG: Who’d’a thunk it?

**CandyCrusher joined the chat**

CC: Oh, how predictable, the giant dragon likes another giant dragon. We have little patience for these antics.

PD: B-b-b-big words for a queen without a neck. Is someone a little s-s-s-sour that they lost to children?

CC: AT LEAST WE’RE NOT IN A MARCHING BAND

**Candy Crusher was blocked by FingerGuns**

FG: anybody else want a piece of me

ML: Don’t feel too bad, Grim!

ML: I actually liked your marching band!

FG: really

FG: i thought they just hurt like hell

NG: Play nice, now, Cuphead. They are technically guests here.

FG: et tu elder kettle

FG: top 10 anime betrayals

NG: I just thought we should be nice to your friends!

FG: theyve killed us so much tho

NG: And you took their souls, so I think you two are even!

FG: fair enough

FG: at least these guys didn’t fucking die

NG: Oh holy shit now you’re telling me you killed people?!

ML: Well, we’ve at least beaten up a whole lot of woodland creatures, logs, dragonflies, waffles, jawbreakers, gumball machines, candy corn, ghosts, and, on one rare occasion, a hot dog.

ML: I don’t think we’ve killed anybody!

FG: what about goopy le grande

ML:I  don’t think we’ve killed anybody that will be missed!

**ViscousFuckboi joined the chat.**

VF: I am not dead, my ardent followers!

VF: Reports of my death were merely flamboyantly exaggerated!

VF: As is all I do in life!

ML: Oh hell no.

FG: how could they have been exaggerated

FG: we were the only ones there

VF: I assure you, they were.

FG: i saw a tombstone get dropped on you like a shitty hat

VF: I survived!

ML: It had your name on it!

VF: Merely a premature burial!

ML: But we destroyed it!

VF: Who are you going to trust, you or me?

BB: Who’s this douchebag?

VF: Well hello there, madame.

VF: How do you do?

BB: Oh yeah, now I remember! You were that creep that threw a poem at me!

VF: Which you so broke my heart by rejecting!

**Viscousfuckboi was blocked by FingerGuns**

FG: begone thot

ML: Thank you. That guy just seriously bugs, you know?

FG: you gotta respect women goopy

ML: Yes, exactly!!!

FG: dude i was quoting a meme

ML: Doesn’t make it any less accurate!

BB: Wait, wasn’t there another guy on Inkwell Isle two?

PD: W-W-W-Wally Warbles!

FG: oh yeah no hes most definitely dead

ML: He was, er, cannibalized by the paramedics that took him away.

CN: Don’t you two have a devil’s ass to kick?

ML: He’s right. I’m feeling good to go.

ML: Cuphead?

FN: ye boi

FN: lets go

NG: Good luck, boys!

CN: We’re rooting for you

BB: Because if you lose, it’s also our asses!

PD: Y-y-yeah!

FG: aight

FG: get on outta here

**FingerGuns kicked out PuffthemagicDragon**

**FingerGuns kicked out BlimpBizkit**

**FingerGuns kicked out CarnaGe**

FG: varmints

ML: That seems unnecessary…

FG: cant have them blab to the devil about the plan homeboy

FG: what with us coming to kick his ass and such

FG: the more dl we keep this the better.

NG: He’s right.

NG: Go on, then, boys, onto the next isle!

ML: Yessir!

**FingerGuns closed the group chat “devil annihilation force alpha” temporarily**

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
